S3E3 - Yoni Massage

 In this deeply intimate episode, Jess (The Playful Domme), Lisa (The Poly Wife), and Ella (The Virgin) explore the transformative experience of a Yoni massage and the power of vulnerability in intimacy. Ella shares her experience with Jess, including the intense buildup of sexual energy that led to a profound release through a Yoni massage. Jess discusses the importance of emotional intimacy in unlocking physical pleasure, particularly for women. The conversation expands into body positivity, self-discovery, and the empowerment of women in both private and public settings, touching on experiences of nudity and letting go of societal inhibitions. 

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🔥SHOW NOTES🔥

[00:00:00] - Introduction and disclaimer for mature audiences.

[00:02:00] - Ella shares her experience of struggling with orgasmic release and her emotional journey leading up to the Yoni massage with Jess.

[00:04:00] - Jess introduces the concept of the Yoni massage and how it helps women release emotional blockages, focusing on the importance of emotional intimacy first.

[00:06:00] - Ella talks about the physical sensations and emotional release during the Yoni massage, including multiple orgasms and squirting.

[00:08:00] - Jess explains the technique of the Yoni massage, focusing on gentle, slow touch and feedback from Ella to enhance the experience.

[00:10:00] - Discussion about the emotional aspect of the massage, including the heart blockage and how women’s bodies respond when they feel safe and open.

[00:12:00] - Ella reflects on how the experience led her to reconnect with her sensuality and the importance of gentle touch.

[00:14:00] - Jess discusses her approach to massaging women and the delight of seeing their bodies open up, both physically and emotionally.

[00:16:00] - Lisa shares her own experience of giving a Yoni massage, emphasizing the importance of knowing what works for her and being willing to communicate that to her partners.

[00:18:00] - Discussion of the power of receiving and how important it is for women to communicate their needs and desires to their partners.

[00:20:00] - The trio reflects on the transformative power of vulnerability and being seen, as well as the importance of embracing one’s body without shame.

[00:22:00] - Closing thoughts on the importance of body positivity and creating safe spaces for women to explore their sensuality.

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🔥RESOURCES AND LINKS MENTIONED🔥

• The Playful Podcast After-Hours Membership: Access to exclusive content, live Q&As, and deeper explorations into intimacy and body positivity.

• Jess’s Yoni Massage Services: Jess provides Yoni massages

Transcript

Jess the Playful Domme: 0:12

Welcome to the playful Dom, the Poly Wife and the Virgin Podcast, where we share our most intimate stories, experiences, and details of our love lives, our intimacy lives, our play lives, and giving you the opportunity to gaze in and get a glimpse of what could be possible in your life as well. As we share our stories, our adventures, we weave in tips. tricks and techniques to help build your confidence, boost your courage and give you the opportunity to ask for what you want in your life. Welcome to the podcast. Oh, and just a couple of quick thoughts before we get started. One, we are just everyday people. We are not professionals, licensed therapists, anything like that. This is for edutainment purposes only. This is not medical advice or legal advice, financial advice, none of the like that. Listen at your own discretion. And this is for mature audiences. We're going into deep subjects and sharing deeply about intimacy and all the things about that. So just notice who you're around and let's go. Okay, go ahead,

Ella the Virgin: 1:25

Yeah. Anyway, so, uh, I actually met with Jess last week. I guess it was last week. And, um, cause I, I shared before that she actually did a Yoni massage. First time I've ever done it. And it was like an amazing experience, but my partner was there. Um, and so we're back and. Amazing, amazing experience. Hold on,

Jess the Playful Domme: 1:45

but, but tell them the lead up, how it would have been going on, like the weekend, a few days before.

Ella the Virgin: 1:52

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. So this has never happened either. So for some strange reason, um, I, I was not able to orgasm. I couldn't write. And so my body was like, just vibrating and for my partner, my poor partner, I don't know if it's poor, but anyway. So for like, it was like 14 hours or something like that. I mean, just trying all I could on top, under, over whatever the poor guy came like five times. Right. And I'm like, I'm not done. I'm not done. I was like this. I was like crazed. I'm like, we have got to get to this by that time. Of course the poor guy can't, you know, you can't it. Hard. Like you would expect the first time. So I'm like, that's it. So anyway, I went and saw Jess time lapsed a few, four or five days. And I went inside Jess to do my Yoni massage. And again, just a very, for any woman that has ever done this, it's a very pleasurable experience. It's just, there's nothing. How do I say, there's nothing sexual about it. It's just very kind and very gentle. So, um, One more time talking about the outside of the, you know, your pussy. And, um, I was able to squirt three times. I came three times and never once went inside. So it was so beautiful. It's so amazing. So help to release me a little bit. So that's my story.

Jess the Playful Domme: 3:10

Yeah, it was pretty awesome. It was, it was super awesome. I, you know, and this kind of touches into something that I want women to hear about is that Um, Ella was also experiencing a heart blockage with her partner. So it's, I, I believe for women that when we're not emotionally connected, it's very hard for us to meet the, meet our partner or the man or whoever, um, in a sexual place in that physical intimacy space. It's like, we need to feel emotionally intimate first. And there have been. This accumulation of things between Ella and her partner of things that just aren't, aren't working well for her, don't bring, don't have her feel good. And so the very baseline thing that they are great at is sex. And this is what happened with me and, um, Josh, same exact thing that like the, the bottom, the bottom of the barrel is, is the sex that's what you know, is super, super good. You know, when you have such a buildup, um, of resentment or hurt or, you know, whatever, and it's either spoken or unspoken, dealt, probably not dealt, actually not dealt with. Not dealt with, that's right. Not dealt with, it actually decreases the sexual attraction and desire to the point that it's like, even that. Even the thing that the only thing that was maybe really, really good at the, in the relationship isn't there anymore. And, and Ella mentioned how like the best part of her, of her partner is his, his dick, right? And it's like there reaches a point where even that isn't good anymore. Like that's not good enough. It's not good enough to, to go and be, be in bed and give, Your body and you know as you do, you know So it's just it was a very interesting thing because for me when I come in and do these moon massages I I'm not there's there's not gonna be sex. It's happening. There's a there's there's nothing there It's for me literally providing a service providing a massage providing an experience, but I'm not I'm there But I'm not It's not an exchange between you and I, right? There isn't going to be that. So I really believe that's a, that's a really big factor for women. Any woman that's like, well, why would I go and get a womb massage? Or why would I go and see someone like Jess? Or, you know, why would I do that? Because I don't know. One, I'm straight. So, you know, I'm not, I'm not interested in a sexual connection with, with the woman. And there's something that happens when a woman's able to just receive and know that she doesn't have to give back, that there isn't an ulterior motive that, you know, it's like, it's literally, I'm, I'm paying you for this service and I'm able to receive it and let go. And then with Ella, because we are good, you know, very, very dear friends, but, you know, Also because she's had a moon massage with me before she knew what to expect so she could open up and relax even more. I, I don't recall a time where I've had a woman squirt. Like, on me, or at me, and it being from external, um, moustache, like, I mean, and I was going very slow. So, this is the thing, like, Ella kept sitting up and being like, why don't men know this? Yes. Why don't men know this? And it's not that, like, I've done it to myself. It's not like that. It's not like, oh, I know all the ins and outs. Or I'm some pussy master.

Ella the Virgin: 7:04

Maybe you are. I don't know.

Jess the Playful Domme: 7:06

Maybe I am. I don't know. Cock whisperer, no pussy master. Oh man, those are good titles. Um, but taking my thumbs and just like rolling. Do you remember, uh, like rolling up from like the base almost where her, um, butt cheek creases are and just rolling all the way up slowly. Um, up and I was getting in actually pretty deep on either side, almost where the cock would go inside, but being on the outside points of it and just pressing into that and moving and everything. And I mean, and Ella is very helpful because she was giving me guidance. So it's not like I was totally in the dark, like, you know, she was giving me feedback. So she said, Oh yeah, like that right there. Yeah. Yeah. That feels really good. Yeah. You know, like that. Yeah. But what was so amazing was like, I, I, it is absolutely enthralling to see when a woman starts opening up and it's like her, her pussy like literally comes out, like, it's like opening up, it comes to the forefront. It's just, it is. So magnificent. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it. And, and Ella, her toes were cramping. Oh yeah. Cramping her leg was cramping. She's fucking all over the place. I am like having to be like a, like a bull rider, right? Like holding my hands. She is just bucking and moving and thrashing. And I'm like, trying to keep my hands in place and keep moving and doing like. Kind of like a thrusting motion like you would like with my hands and I'm like, you know, I'm not built this way So it's just it's so awesome because especially when you know woman is so close You don't want to give up on her like at all like fuck your hands or whatever They're going through you're gonna go through the ride and get her to the other side and then there were parts where she had to Literally pull my hands away and she would like sit up and like breathe and then she's like, oh, I feel so good She feels so good, you know, so it's just it's Magnificent so then I came back home and I'm sharing that telling my Retelling it to my partner and he's like, well, I want to learn how to make you buck. I Want to I want to learn how to How to make you, how to make your toes cramp up and curl and

Ella the Virgin: 9:43

Oh, and my hip, for like the rest of that day, I was just like, oh my gosh, because you get a cramp in your hip and it's still tight? I'm like, wow, I'm like, I've been road hard and put away wet. It was so So beautiful. Um, I wish I could, I wish I was better with my words just to, to, to share with other women that again, the kindness and the gentleness, and again, all on the outside, I, I'm just amazed by that as well. So magical experience. I, I highly recommend it to, to all women. I, it should be a regular thing we do just monthly. So, and there was a time to remember Jess, there was a moment when I actually got a little emotional and it was kind of, One of the, this is being very truthful. I'm like, well, I don't want to stir up anything. I think I'm good. Right. I don't, I mean, I don't know what I don't know, but there was a moment when I was emotional for, I don't know, a few minutes. And it, what came to my head was so clear and it was really good. It was, it was, it was profound. What came in my head again, the stuff that I'm kind of working through. Um, yeah, it was fantastic. So beautiful. So, and then back at it, come on, Jess, hold on. So that was really

Jess the Playful Domme: 10:59

And going internally to like, I didn't go in very, very deep at the beginning, I go gentle. It's, you know, a half, half an inch in kind of moving around and the next half inch in. And again, women are just not used to that they're used to like a dick sliding right on in like, all right, here we go, you know, and it's just, it's the

Ella the Virgin: 11:24

Oh, central. Oh my God. It's really the best feeling again. Just, just the quarter of an inch and slow and kind and tall. And I asked for more, obviously, you know, it's again, as hard as you can give, as you can give it to me, you know, I mean, that's part of it too, but it's, it's something that's not normally done to a woman to be kind and slow and gentle. Because you become so, um, passionate, so.

Jess the Playful Domme: 11:52

Well, and I think women have also gotten, are like hardened in a way. So if you're going hard on a hardened body and a hardened heart, like it's just, you know, it's hard to feel it. But when it's soft and you, I don't know, there's like a melting process that happens, like in the body and the relaxation. So anyways, it was, It brought me so much joy. I, like, had a top high, I guess you would call it, like, afterwards, just a lot of, uh, endorphins, a lot of, it was very, um, just joyful. And I mean, what a gift to, like, what an honor for me. And I, I secretly, I mean, this isn't like, I get, I derive also a little, um, delight and pleasure when a partner can't satisfy his woman. And then. She's able to have multiple orgasms with me. I find like some deviant joy in that. So, um, it definitely gives me a competitiveness. I'm like, all right, let's see what these hands can do.

Ella the Virgin: 13:00

But I think the thing that was, it's really interesting and I would describe it as this as my body softened because this week, um, again, I, I have toys, but I haven't pulled them out in maybe years. I mean, it's been a long time. I came home and I was like ravaging for these things. I'm like, surely they're in here somewhere, you know, and you pull them out and you hope your batteries aren't corroded or whatever, but it was just, it was this, this, um, again, I'm going to say it softening. And it was like this, um, again, my body was still. Vibrating. I mean, this is days later, you know, I mean, it calms down, but it kind of kept peaking. So it was, whether it's related or not, I'm going to say it is, it was just, it's been, thank you. It's been amazing. So,

Jess the Playful Domme: 13:41

yeah, you're welcome. And, and she, she had someone even pay for it. So that's great. It was, you know, that's, that's something I've been thinking about too, is like, Hey, husband, so you want to open up your wife, come, come send them over to me. And to me, I can just imagine men being like, Here's my credit card. Like, yeah, just open her up. Please do the thing. Cause it's, I don't know. There's, um, again, there's, I think sometimes so much of a buildup that we have, um, between our part, us and our husband or partner or whatever, that there's just reaches a point where you just can't cross it. So is there somebody else that can help kind of like, you know, soften open? Have the waters moving again, you know, so Lisa, what do you think?

Ella the Virgin: 14:32

And where else would you go for this? I think you and I've spoke about this. I mean, I mean, you, you just, I don't know where you would go. You can't go to your practitioner and say, Hey, you know, I've got this feeling or whatever. So I'm just super grateful that we can through our friendship and through, you know, your openness and honesty and directness, you and Lisa, that it's just become a normal conversation and ladies. It's taken me and men and ladies, it's taken me, I, we've been talking for about a year and a half, two years now, and it's taken me that long to, and I know Jess, I trust her explicitly. She's a hundred percent professional for me to even say, okay, let's do it. You know? And again, it was originally with my partner and this time I'm like, no, I just want to do it for myself. You know? I mean, I would, I'd love to have the coaching, but I just want to do it for myself to enjoy and not feel like I have to act or react or not act right. Whatever. You know, I can truly just. So, um, yeah, I thank you. It's priceless.

Jess the Playful Domme: 15:24

Yeah, thanks.

Ella the Virgin: 15:26

Hashtag, please.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 15:27

So, I coincidentally gave my first Yoni massage, um, a couple of weeks ago, too.

Ella the Virgin: 15:35

You did?

Lisa the Poly Wife: 15:36

I did. My girlfriend and I decided that we were going to play.

Ella the Virgin: 15:41

Okay.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 15:42

She was, And she's got actually a really great strap on. And she says, what do you think if we just, you know, threw the strap on on and played? And I was like, yeah, okay. And I, I'm all my guys are gone, right? Luke is gone and the new guys are gone. It's I'm not getting regular. So I said, sure. So I know that for me, sensual massage really turns me on. Ah. And so I, we just decided to do this and it, we've already been romantically involved for two years. So it's not, um, I'm trying to get to know her or anything like that. It's just, okay, two friends and this is an activity we're going to do. But I wanted to be a little bit turned on by it. So I asked if it would be okay if I gave her a massage first. And I said, is it okay if I include a bit of a Yoni massage? And she said, yeah, that would be great. So we had an agenda. So I wasn't focused on doing a Yoni massage, but I, that was, is the first time that I touched a woman on, on her pussy. And so it was, It is magical, right? And it is, I, I don't have any idea what I'm doing other than I'm a woman, and I know what I like. And the men that I have been with, I've been with three men recently, and um, all literally burgeoning relationships that have, started since I broke up with Sapio, which is another sort of energetic, um, cock blocking. I want to talk about later, but all three men were very loving and gentle daddy sensuous hedonists and lovers, right? But even they Who understands sensation and rhythm and that sort of thing all became more staccato and piston like when they were using their hands to play with my pussy, or even their tongues, and I can say honestly that I said wait wait slow slow down, and a lighter touch. Yeah, because they were getting me excited but I could not get. To where I needed to go. And I said, just slow down and Jen, Jen, more gentle touch. And they did. And instantly I was coming and I would have multiple orgasms and squirt everywhere, completely made a mess. And most recently one of them, and this is maybe the second time we, maybe third time we had been together. And he said, I so appreciate that, you know, what works and that you're willing to tell me. First thing is Recognizing that I need a slower, lighter touch, even when I'm enjoying a more vigorous and heavy hand is a revelation that's recent for me.

Ella the Virgin: 18:54

Yeah. Right.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 18:55

But being willing to say it is something I've been practicing now for the time that I've been polyamorous. So the fact that I'm able to say it and he recognized what I was doing and commented on it. I really want to encourage women to say what it is that works for you.

Ella the Virgin: 19:12

Yeah.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 19:13

I am so clear that we don't have the opportunity to, I guess, we haven't been taught that to believe that men actually want to know, and they want the right men want to please us and, um, the fact that all three men did exactly what I asked immediately and, um, all had fantastic results. Thank you. And I said what it was that I wanted it. You're right. Every woman should get a Yoni massage. And part of the reason I know this is because I've had a Yoni massage. I've had women touch me there and I've learned what works for me. If we were able to open ourselves up to that kind of intimate touch, intimate, non sexual touch.

Ella the Virgin: 20:11

Yes.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 20:12

Allows us to just simply receive. I think that we as women would become even more powerful because the energy that is created and built lasts over time, just like you experienced a day later. And you're right. I've been saying to my girlfriend, because I'm currently now having a lot more sex. I said, I, I can't stop thinking about it. And she said, yeah, the more you get, the more you want. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Instead of the more you want, the more you get, the more you get, the more you want, and I'm finding that to be true. These men have learned to open me up and I'm able to receive. And once I've turned that receiving on, it really is become more of what I'm willing to say that I want, right. And willing to do for myself, right. And receiving a Yoni massage and telling the men in our lives, what it is that works for us will get us into that state. And it's. Not that courageous an act. It's just what we want. We, I mean, you don't have to be that brave because everybody wants that outcome.

Ella the Virgin: 21:34

And I think that's a really good point is because I thought that I had to be brave because we talked about this on our, on our last event that we did is that when was the last time And again, I'm very vanilla. When was the last time that I, you really just look at your pussy? Well, I haven't, right. I'm 55 years old. I just don't, I mean, it's just one of those things, you know, I'm not sure we have kids or before kids or after kids were aging, whatever. I just don't. But to be able to go again, to, to work with chess. I mean, this is my, my only experience work with Jess, another woman to have her critique. I mean, she's, you know, I'm, I'm open, I'm down there, you know, and again, it was, it was the most beautiful, kind, loving experience. And if we can't do that, then, I mean, how are we showing up for our partners? So and again, I, and I think the best part and just study, you said it too, is it's just, to be no expectations, just to receive. Anyway, really good. So

Lisa the Poly Wife: 22:32

I wonder, I wonder, honestly, how we can encourage women to talk about their pussies and look at each other's pussies in a more normative way, right? I mean, genuinely, how do we get women to start talking about this? Because it is part of our mental health. It's so simple, really so simple. I don't, without it. inferring at all, anything that might threaten a woman's sexuality or interest, just the physiology of it. Why are our pussies honestly different than our hands or elbows? It's just another piece of anatomy and the mystery of it, I think, deprives us.

Ella the Virgin: 23:25

So you bring, you bring up a very good point. I'm going to be very vulnerable here. So I'm, I'm a redhead, not a true redhead. And since I was a little girl, I was different. So I think that's why I've never had a one night stand. I have very few partners. I'm very vanilla is because I was different. I want to have dark hair, you know, and you know, pussy, I don't have red hair. Right. So I think. If I look back, that was the thing that's held me back or held me to who I am. So, um, period. So, but again, at 55 or 54, I just realized that. And again, if you, if you talk to a man or, or, or, or with your partners, I mean, they don't even notice it. It's something that was in my head, but I can go into an elevator and if there's just me and a man in the elevator. There are certain men that will ask me if I'm a true redhead, because there's this mystique around us. You know, I didn't realize till later that it's kind of cool. Cause we're a little, you know, the middle edgy, quite passionate, those kinds of things. But, um, but as a, as a young woman until my, my fifties here, I was embarrassed by it. So you're, I mean, you're right. Right. And then again, to go sit there with Jess, you know, another woman, you know, it's a bit, it was a big deal for me, but having gone through it, I'm like, Oh my goodness. What It's no big deal. It's the most beautiful experience. It's quite the opposite.

Jess the Playful Domme: 24:48

It's interesting because it's not a big deal, but it is a big deal, right? And I think for women, it's we don't know what we don't know. So Lisa didn't know. She liked the soft and gentle touch until she experienced it. She might not have known. Well, obviously I'm not going to speak for you, Lisa, but I would imagine like that for a lot of us, we don't know what we like. Until we, until we get it, we might not know what we don't like, you know, I know I don't like something that's forceful and stuff, but, um, I think that, so there's, there are, you know, pussy oracle groups and gatherings. It's more mystical, more, I would say much more mystical, um, than just having like a pussy party. Like, all right, let's, let's all just gather around and you know for For a couple minutes, we're just going to let ourselves be seen and it's going to be okay, you know, but it can be a very vulnerable place and so it's good to have, I would say, at least the one on one, like, let's start with one woman seeing me. And how do I feel? And I'm, I remember, um, I, when I was studying to become a certified sex coach, I was at a women's all women's retreat in Mexico, and I had never been naked in front of women, ever. This was twenty eighteen. I was terrified. There was thirty five, thirty of us women. And, and the, the leader, the facilitator said, you know, if you. Basically, the paraphrasing was, um, do what you feel comfortable with. If you don't want to take your clothes off, you don't have to, you know, if you know, and if you want to be more vulnerable, more seen, you know, whatever free, you're welcome to take your clothes off. And I was like, fuck, no, there is no way I'm not taking my clothes off. And so we're in these like partnered groups to do breath work. And my, my, my partner, uh, She was the first person in the whole group to take their clothes off.

Ella the Virgin: 26:53

Oh my goodness, of course, right? Yeah.

Jess the Playful Domme: 26:55

And, and just, and it wasn't from like a, yeah, let's do this. It was just like, this is what I want to do. You know, this is, I want to lean into this. And, Then when it was my turn, I was naked. And then, by the end of the week, I was walking around naked over the entire resort property. And like, just, you know, just being around other women of all shapes and sizes, and we've all got our things, and things we're ashamed of, and we want to hide, and we're not comfortable with. And then it's just like, there's this opening up that starts happening where we become more just at ease, at ease with our body, at ease with each other. And none of us, maybe there was a few heat in this, but most of us are all, you know, we grew up pretty You know, conservative in some ways. And then, you know, there was a whole spectrum of people and levels of openness. Right. But, but it was just, I mean, I left that retreat like buzzing and I remember just feeling so sensual, just so sensual in my body and my beauty. And I remember walking up to like the airport, like counter and talking to the guy and he was just like, like eyes huge. Like, who is this? And I remember going to eat food and I was at a restaurant and I was just taking like the raspberry and really taking my time like just, you know, as I was like licking it and just having in my mouth. And I was having my own kind of orgasmic, not that I was orgasming, but just this, you know, euphoric, euphoric experience of just eating my food. And I'm like, I bet everyone in this restaurant right now is watching me because they're just like who, who is this, who eats like this, you know, and so like that's, that's what's like really, really awesome is when we can get women and it, and I, I want it, it's, it's a euphoria that can only last as long as the environment, so the environment, You know, getting thrust back into the environment of, of, of the world, you know, it's, it can be, it can take a lot to maintain that sensuality, um, that sensuousness, um, but it was really, really beautiful to experience. So, um, I say all that, that like being around women and, and learning to feel comfortable and, and then being really like, it felt like it was normalizing, but not in a, Oh, this isn't. This isn't special, but normalizing it in a way of like, of a celebration of the beauty of, of women and, and I'll say that sometimes there is a little bit of Eros that comes up, there is a little bit of a turn on the, you know, and, and so we're learning how to be okay with that, you know, that it's like, it doesn't mean I'm gay, doesn't mean that I, you know, it just, It's, it's an appreciation, it's a, you know, it's a, it's a turn on of the beauty of others around us. So yeah, sure. Very profound, very profound thing. But just so you know, like I went in there and the instructor even said, she's like, you know, there may be women who, you know, might feel an attraction to each other and you know, like we, we support, you know, whatever exploration you want. And I, I raised my hand, I was like, What if you don't want it, you know, like what, you know, like, that's how like, you know, just so you, so that y'all know where I was five years ago, um, you know, what, what do I do if I don't want that, you know, and she's just like, well, then you just say no, you know, and like, then to me, I'm like, Oh my God, like, there's gonna be women coming up to me and like, I don't know how I'm going to handle this. And, you know, you know, just getting like, I'll put up all my boundaries. So it was super, super funny. Um, and it worked out great. And then women kept coming up to me and, uh, yeah. In a retreat after a business retreat, so, you know, we weren't walking around naked in Mexico. And they're like, you just, you have such a sexual energy about you. And I was like, what? Are you kidding me? Me. They're like, yes. And I'm like, no, I don't believe that. So it's just, it's very interesting to see transitions and, and people in our own awakening as we become more comfortable in our bodies. And Ella is very comfortable in her body. Like, you know, she is, she's like, it's really great. So is Lisa. And that makes a difference. So I say all of that, that like, yeah. These, these moments, these experiences, these opportunities to, to be seen, to be open and, and it takes a tremendous amount of courage and trust. I really believe that it takes a lot of bravery for a woman to be seen anyways, but be seen by another woman and, and to be able to let go. And I, I have, I hold that in the highest, highest esteem and regard. And so to tell women that it's safe to feel good. It's safe to be seen. Like I say that while I'm massaging them, like it's, it's safe to feel good. And, and when the tears come up, it's okay that it's okay. Like just let it flow. It's a really profound experience.

Ella the Virgin: 31:59

Couldn't say it better.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 32:04

I think that I would like to brainstorm an idea where we do make it nights. I wonder if that's a possibility that we invite women to maybe we could do it on zoom, we could do it like on one of our dark after episodes, either do a zoom naked night I think it would be better if we were in a room together we could do them to travel right and just that might be something that we want to do because while we might want, you know, big retreats covering lots of topics. For some people, this may be just the most basic of, um, putting ourselves out there that it's a first step, right? It could be the first step of a launch into more awareness, but it's something that we could talk about and sponsor. I'd be really interested in our audience's feedback on that.

Jess the Playful Domme: 33:08

Or we can start. Yeah. So, so, uh, yes. And like, maybe we start with lingerie, you know, just having them feel comfortable in lingerie around each other. So like the, the intention is to just, again, like put down our, our walls and our fears and, you know, we all have our, the beauty within us. I'm sure there's some really beautiful activities and, you Like the most kind of like, like a fundamental thing and also the edgiest, you know,

Lisa the Poly Wife: 33:44

absolutely it can be that could be the, the, the outside of the boundary the furthest that somebody is willing to go, but if they can get there. I mean, I am thinking about I grew up in swim team so I was naked in front of women all the time we went to Coney Island. We'd wash off in the showers and they were just open open rooms that naked women were in all the time. So nudity was never a problem, but putting myself voluntarily in a place Where I would be naked, maybe talking even about intimate things or something like that. I realized that my level of comfort with that was, I would have been a hell, I would have been just like you, Jess. I'm not the one going to take my clothes off. Now on a topless beach, I have no problem. I'm, I'm all over that, right? That public nudity is fine, but, um, I have, it's, it's a real dichotomy and I'm wondering, I'm wondering if it's a feeling of not wanting to be judged, believing that I would be judged or something, but knowing that I was entering a room in which it's a judgment free zone, that everybody is going to be equally as trepidatious or nervous or ease at ease with it. That, um, it's an, I, I, I feel like that is a really big first step. easy, hard stuff to do. I'd like to, I'd like to, I don't know, hashtag naked nights or something, really introduce the concept. I mean, there are women who don't get naked in front of their partners. In light of day. Right. And I don't know that they don't want to, but I'd love to give women an opportunity to explore that. So it'd be interesting to see what the audience thinks too. So,

Jess the Playful Domme: 35:46

yeah, that sounds good. It's so funny about, um, you know, thinking about being willing to be seen, uh, in the daylight too. Right. How many women, myself included, like for years when I was in my early twenties and stuff. The lights had to be out. It had to be pitch black. Like there was no crack of light underneath the door, you know, like I, I wanted it to be dark. We were going to, I had a whole routine. I was in my twenties. It's so funny. It's like, okay, we're going to take a shower first. It's going to be in the dark, but I want to feel that closeness and that buildup and we're going to have sex, but that's also going to be in the dark. So it's just, it's so even like, you know, the challenge, like, are you, could you have sex? In the daytime with your partner and

Ella the Virgin: 36:35

I think so for me, ironically, as, as I've just shared with you, my most, you know, darkest, uh, secret, I guess, or whatever the thing is, I think it's held me back the most, but with my partner, um, very much, it's, it's, it's always very light, you know, and love, you know, love the visual of everything. So, and he, you know, obviously maybe he helped me through a lot of that. Um, again, woman to woman was a little bit different as well. So. Yeah, it's interesting as we talk about it. Where do we talk about this stuff?

Lisa the Poly Wife: 37:04

We don't talk about this stuff. I'm around naked people all the time, right? I spent the weekend at a nude resort. I spent, um, uh, having sex in public. There was a playroom that had multiple beds and, you know, I'm on the bench and my partner was doing impact on me. And there was a couple, you know, making, well, not making love. They were fucking, like, pray. It was Really hot, um, over in the corner doing something else. I didn't, I didn't see them, but I could hear what was going on. They could hear me laughing hilarious hysterically as he was hitting me.

Ella the Virgin: 37:40

I, you, Lisa, my gosh, I even know what to say. I saw me.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 37:44

I was giggling so hard. Oh my gosh. But you know, I'm around naked people all the time. I've completely lost. my inhibitions around being naked. And I don't, I think, I don't know how people would respond to me in a much more vanilla sense. Like I do walk around the gym completely naked. I don't care. And I feel like I'm taking a stand for nudity. in a place where people might feel like, you know, they only get dressed in the shower and they put their towel around and then they go into a stall and get undressed and change and all that. So in the gym, I'm, I'm taking a stand for nudity, but that's

Jess the Playful Domme: 38:26

the gym locker room. Yeah.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 38:28

Yes. The gym ladies room.

Jess the Playful Domme: 38:31

Yes. Yeah. I, I remember being in my, 20s and my stepmom being a fitness instructor and we went and worked out and we were in the gym locker and I was doing the, you know, secretively changing my clothes and she's just stripping down and taking things off and I'm just like, ah, this is my stepmother like what is going on? Like, you know, and just she was just so comfortable with it. And I just wasn't I wasn't raised like that. I wasn't put in, even when I, I did play sports, I still like was in the, in the shower changing, like I was still doing all that. So,

Ella the Virgin: 39:08

yeah.

Jess the Playful Domme: 39:09

You know, it's something that like, and, and I, and I think too part of it to go from having inhibitions to less. I wonder if there's women who are like, well, will that make me, um, be more willing to do things that could be dangerous, you know, like in my life, you know, if, if I've had all these, um, barriers up, cause I've been told it's bad and wrong and, you know, all this stuff and to be, um, modest and to not show, not reveal myself and, you know, all of these things, it's almost like a tenant. For a lot of women, especially if you're in a religious upbringing, it's a very, very strong tenet to like not do any of those things. So it becomes taboo in a way, right? So to, to be calm, naked, or to be more open in front of others and other women could be seen as very, very taboo. And then it's like, well, then what does that make me? You know, if I, if I, if I do that, does it help me become more open? But then does that have me more questioning my, my faith? You know, so it's a very. interesting dance for a woman to tease out in herself of what feels true for her that's independent of, of her faith, of her culture, of her like upbringing, of her community, define what is the truth in herself. Um, and you know, where's a safe space for her to explore that. And discover that

Lisa the Poly Wife: 40:49

it's very interesting because you said, you know, is this going to escalate to something dangerous? Well, dangerous by whose standards? What does, what's dangerous now? I would say that I'm, I am, I would be accused of participating in dangerous activities. I'm having sex outside of my marriage. I'm having sex with multiple partners. I'm, um, meeting men. In bars and going to their homes, not that randomly, but that would be considered. And now the safety measures that I'm taking could could completely, um, be considered, but I would think that people would just say just the act of being willing to do something like that is dangerous versus, but I'm not doing heroin, right? It didn't escalate to something that was dangerous. I don't know what, I don't know what dangerous is in that case.

Jess the Playful Domme: 41:47

I think dangerous in terms of, uh, even confronting who, who am I, it's like my whole identity has been a certain way. And then I start breaking out of that, that piece and, uh, incorporating and, you know, being around new people and having new thoughts and new experiences. And like suddenly there's like a drift, a drifting away in a way of, of who I've been. Uh, I mean, I experienced that even for myself with, with my family. God forbid they find out all this stuff that I've done, not because, not because I'm like ashamed of it, because they haven't done any of this stuff. They haven't done any of this work. They haven't taken a step over the line, as far as I know, can't imagine. It's like they'll, they're, they're, where are they need to get to, to get to a place of understanding it, just to be able to understand it. So they're in a place of judgment, you know? And it's like. You know, if my dad finds out, fine. If my grandparents find out, I don't know if they'll ever get over it. My grandmother already prays for me every single day. Just thinking which, the little that she knows. She knows all the other things that I've, I've done. Oh my gosh, she's never gonna get off of her knees. She's just gonna be praying all day. You know, so it's just, it's, it's a thing. It's a real thing about how to honor ourselves as women. It's And men, but I'm a woman so I can speak for myself, honoring that after having a lifetime, an entire childhood and lifetime of being told how to be, how not to be, what is appropriate, what is not appropriate, what good girls do, what good girls don't do, like an entire programming for decades. And then we start. breaking free of that and making our own discoveries or explorations. And suddenly that changes, that starts to change who we are. And then suddenly we're, we've become more and more unrelatable to the things and the people that we were brought up by, because we are in a new place where they can't relate to us anymore. And the challenge for me, the thing that like breaks my heart is that like, I know what's possible because I did the walk, you know, we talked about Lisa being, Lisa talks about being a Sherpa. We've done the walk, you know. Ella, you're so much further along than you were two years ago, right?

Ella the Virgin: 44:29

Oh, gosh, yes.

Jess the Playful Domme: 44:31

And and you're telling everyone, come over, come over, come over, and they're like, what? But I've been told that this is bad and I've been told don't get naked in front of women, I've been told not to go sleep with men that I just met at a bar, and I've been told all these things. Bad things happen when you do this. Meanwhile, we're over here and we're like, Life is amazing. Like, this is so opening. Wow. I didn't even know what was possible. I didn't know what I didn't know. And now I know.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 44:58

Yeah. Look how, look how much we've shifted in the years that we've known each other. Right. Today. Right. So, um,

Jess the Playful Domme: 45:10

yeah, it's just, so I guess the final thought that I, I mean, I'm curious about what each of you have, but for me, it's I'm so proud of. Me personally, I'm, I'm very proud of both Lisa and Ella, and, and Lisa where she was when I, when I was living with her, 2019, holy shit, she is like off, she's, she's just taken off and lives such a vibrant and joyful and beautiful life, and even when she has her hard moments, and even when she goes through her low points, cause she of course does, she handles it with like, grace and, Kindness and, you know, and, and ownership and agency. And it's just super, super impressive. Like, it's awesome. Lisa's just masterful. I love, love watching her and her process. It's so beautiful. And then Ella's gone from, Oh yeah, I don't, I don't know. I don't know, you know, and like, just being like over on a, on a deeper side of, of embodiment of, of truth of, you know, she's like, it's just, it's so. It's amazing. It's amazing what happens when women are able to come together. And have these kind of conversations and being willing to try being willing to be open, um, being willing to have courage and explore things, even little things, you know, that are big, big things are the little things. Yeah, so it's just it's amazing. I'm so proud of both of you and I'm really grateful. To be in this space because I mean, Lisa is like night and day. She, I can't tell you, she looked like daria, you know, just like dark, dark hair, dark. Oh, yes. Just very, uh, um, not great. Attitude. Yeah. Great energy. And, and Lisa got her wake up call and she changed her life, you know, she, I mean, it's amazing. It's amazing to see where she is now. Like, it just, it's absolutely mind blowing astounding. So to me, it's like, don't cut yourself short. If you think it's too late, like Lisa, Lisa, I can't remember how old you are.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 47:31

Are you 60? 59 today? Well, I'll be 60 later this year.

Jess the Playful Domme: 47:36

Okay. Yeah. She, I mean, this is like the transformation happened in the last five years. So like from, from 55. And I mean, Lisa, like your life is amazing, right? Like

Lisa the Poly Wife: 47:52

it is amazing. It is amazing. I I'm really, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm happier than I've ever been. And I'm not, and there's so much that on a daily basis is overwhelming and hard, but ultimately. It'll all work out. I'll figure all that stuff out. I'm just happy in myself, with myself, with the people in my life, right? I've, I've found the people I want to hang out with and I, you know, I love them and I'm going to do whatever I can to continue to manufacture these loving relationships.

Jess the Playful Domme: 48:34

And it's not like Lisa's left old friends behind. She's still in touch with them. It's just, she's found an environment that's supportive. For her and helping her breathe. It's like it's being transplanted into an environment where you can thrive versus trying to be the thing that makes it in an environment that isn't suited for you. It's like, you know, that and and I know Ella is also in a period where she's clearing her space of people that aren't feeding her. They're actually feeding off of her. You know what? This doesn't work. It doesn't work to have these, these things feeding off of me, feeding off of my generosity and my kindness and my love and support. And you know, they're, they're taking advantage. They're feeding off of her, they're depleting her. So now it's like cutting all that away and creating space to be around other plants that feed you, that feed together, that are supportive and in an environment that is uplifting. You know, these are like awesome things. Is Ella going to be mean to people in the past? No, but she's going to change her, she's going to change the scenery, she's going to change her environment, and that's where the excitement is, because when we realize we get to be at choice, we are at choice, I get to choose who's in my life and who isn't,

Ella the Virgin: 49:52

you get

Jess the Playful Domme: 49:53

to choose that, especially as an adult, especially if your kids are out of the house, you have agency, you know, you get to choose who's going to be in it and who's not, so anyways, Ella, do you have any final thoughts?

Ella the Virgin: 50:07

Oh, gosh, I have so many thoughts, but again, I think the number one thing is be open and, you know, reach out to a, um, uh, I'm going to use the word provider like yourself, you know, or, and just every woman should try it and do it. It's the most magical experience. So

Jess the Playful Domme: 50:24

I see a woman too.

Ella the Virgin: 50:25

Yeah. See a woman. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Jess the Playful Domme: 50:28

I understand by that. Yeah. Like. So my dying breath, you know, if a woman's, if a woman's been through sexual, especially if a woman's been through sexual abuse or trauma of any kind, and it's been. At the hands of a, of a male, of a man, please go to see a woman. You know? Yeah. Like allow yourself to do a certain level of healing until you feel comfortable. I've seen way too many times I've witnessed it, I've done it where I've gone thinking, oh, I need to go to a man, a male, a shaman, a you know, a male provider, a male, whatever, and no, you know, go, go with a, go with a, a woman who can understand. So, yeah,

Ella the Virgin: 51:08

completely agree, ma. Just, yeah. Magical experience.

Jess the Playful Domme: 51:11

Cool. Well, thanks everyone for listening. Catch you later. Bye for now. Want more? Head over to the playfulpodcast. com for all the juicy things we have to offer. From there you can join our community where you can get access to after hours, attend upcoming workshops and events, and even book a session. Bye for now.